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Are you one of the 50% of Australian women experiencing sexually-related personal distress? This worrying trend was discovered across nearly 7000 women aged 18-39 years old. Distress is feeling guilty, embarrassed, stressed or unhappy about your sex life. But why are so many women in their prime, who should be enjoying themselves and exploring the world, feeling so unhappy with this facet of life??

LOW SEXUAL SELF-IMAGE

I read this research so many times, just screaming NOOOO at the computer! What have we created in our society?!

Your sensuality is not embarrassing, you do not need to feel guilty for having or not having sex, you do not need to feel stressed about doing it right or not doing it right. Sex is not something you are born to do perfectly without exploration. You ARE born to do with your body as you wish.

Women place so much value on their personal appearance that it is negatively impacting their lives. Of course it made me immediately think of all the overseas countries I have been to, and all the larger women I saw on the beaches flaunting their assets in skimpy bikinis. Why do these women feel so confident to let it all hang out (rolls, cellulite, thighs that touch, saggy breasts) and in Australia we hide our bodies as soon as we have half a roll start to appear?

Social media filters are not helping with women editing their photos to upload the perfect image on the internet. And here’s the kicker! For those with a partner, there is so much research out there that tells us what you think about yourself is not what your partner thinks about you! So, are you creating unnecessary hurdles in your sexual relationship?

We need to be teaching women from a young age that they are beautiful however they look. No two people are created the same, even a doppelganger will not be your exact match. Whilst we are busy fussing over the way we look we are expelling a lot of negative energy. If women continue on this cycle it is inevitably going to affect relationships, careers and their lives. There is too much fun to be had in life to worry about image as well.

It’s time to positively change your sexual self-image and talk about it with your female friends. We need to stop this cycle and spread positive, pleasurable and sensual discussions in the open.

Where to start?

  1. Know your worth: believe that you are desirable because you are. Every day stand naked in front of a mirror, give yourself a good look over and tell yourself something positive about what you see.
  2. Sensual Play Sundays: know what your body is capable of and what you enjoy sexually to feel confident in communicating your pleasure needs to a partner. Boys are taught this at a young age, girls…not so much. The more pleasure you receive the better the experience. Sexual confidence is an aphrodisiac and comes from understanding who you are, what’s important to you and taking ownership of getting what you want.
  3. Push the endorphins: get moving and release endorphins through your body. You don’t need to rush out to a gym, just move freely. Do yoga, dance or even chase the kids. If you are in a relationship, and you and your partner have put on some “comfort weight”, get off the couch and do something more active together at least once a week.
  4. Journaling: writing is a great way to express your inner most feelings and desires. Writing about sex is liberating and allows you to explore fantasies and desires in the comfort and safety of your private world. If you’re not sure where to start, take a look at the Mojo Matters Journal.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say, “I like you better with no make up at all, just natural”.

 

Hey mama, identify with this research? Don’t be a statistic. Join the Mama’s Sensual Safari to boost your sexual self-image and enjoy life…you only get one!

Author: Vanessa Tarfon