As we rush towards spring it’s time to fire up your sexual desire and arousal. It’s time to talk sex toys! Toys facilitate learning about your body and taking control of your sensuality and pleasure. Sex toys and practices are not something to be ashamed of. They are tools for confidence and pleasure.

Testing new sex toys are great for keeping the spark alive in long-term relationships. Men and women experience sexual desire differently and sometimes you need a little more than your partner to push your desire and arousal over the edge.

3 senses to fire up sexual desire and arousal

Using all your senses during sex is important for enjoyment. Here are the top 3 to get your body glowing.

Touch

Changing your touch technique creates surprise and activates your nerves in different ways. What worked last session might not be what your body is searching for this session.

Here are some ideas to think about:

• Direct vs indirect touch (hovering/skimming the tips of your hairs only)
• Soft vs hard
• Fingertips vs whole hand
• Hand vs other body parts/toys
• Fast vs slow movements
• Strokes vs circular motions vs flicks vs taps vs slaps

Sound

Make your body tremble with desire and arousal at varying sounds. Certain music or songs, or ask your partner to hum, whisper or speak certain words or phrases into your ear. Then ask your partner to hum or speak closely over different parts of your body without directly touching you. The sound of their voice or music is arousing, but your body will also respond to the vibration it feels from the proximity.

Taste

Ask your partner to create a tasting plate. Feel free to give them some ideas of what you’d like if you are concerned. Then get naked or strip down to your underwear, wear a blindfold and then your partner starts to feed you. Don’t rush. The idea isn’t to do this because you are starving! It’s to savour the flavours, textures and intimate experience of being fed, which should include combinations of kissing and touching throughout.

Adding sex toys to your sex life

Strengthen these 3 sensual options by adding toys to playtime. There are so many toys on the market for beginners to advanced users. The hardest decision is which one to try first!

Vibrators

First vibrators and dildos are different. Unless it is a vibrating dildo, a dildo is used for penetration just like a penis with no extra fancy actions.

There are an overwhelming amount of vibrators on the market. Clitoral “suckers”, bullets, rabbits, eggs, wands, g-spot vibes, cock rings and more. Realistic looking vibrators to alien-looking vibrators and everything in between. Vibrators are great for different touch options, sound amplification and during tasting play.

Vibrators for solo play and discovery

Masturbating with vibrators is great for exploring what your body enjoys and the type of vibrations you crave. If you are a vibrator newbie, here’s some extra info:

A bullet vibrator: these are for external use only but are nice and small so the least intimidating option.

A clitoral stimulator: there are 2 types of clitoral vibrators. Ones that use air pulsation and suction and others that use vibrations and rolling actions. The air pulses and suction stimulators have been getting a lot of coverage over the last 2 years but the sensation isn’t for everyone as they are strong and also louder. My recommendation, try both!

G-spot vibrator: these provide internal stimulation and if you experience penetrative pain or discomfort they can help you adapt to penetrative sensations. G-spot vibrators can also be used externally on your clitoris or over your body for more bang for your buck!

Vibrators for couple play

Firstly, you can use any of your solo play vibes during partner play to amp up your arousal and desire. But also don’t miss these options!

Use a wand vibrator or tickler during foreplay to get your nerves firing and blood pumping.

When it comes to penetration a vibrating cock ring gives your partner heightened pleasure through pressure and increased blood flow and you get to enjoy the feeling of fullness along with clitoral stimulation.

FIFO couples don’t think you miss out on the fun when you are away from each other! Couple vibrators used with remotes or your phone mean you don’t even need to be in the same room or city to ignite your fire! Check out the Lelo Tiani Harmony or We Vibe Sync 2.

Am I into BDSM?

BDSM can initially appear scary and overwhelming. No matter what it is that catches your eye, whether: floggers, crops, whips or paddles, handcuffs and restraints, blindfolds and gags, pinwheels or nipple clamps there are lighter versions you can try first.

BDSM is great if you’re aroused by touch and sound play.

These are best enjoyed with a partner and you might be surprised to learn whether you are more turned on by being the recipient or the giver.

Once you know what you like, follow your comfort level and amp up your toys.

Sex Furniture

Sex isn’t just something that happens in bed. Swings, crosses, benches, chaises, and chairs can increase your pleasure and comfort. Sex furniture can be used for touch, sound and taste play.

Want to try but don’t have the room? That’s ok there are various wedge pillows and over-the-door options you can hide away in a cupboard until you need them. Then use them on the bed or floor to change angles and increase your pleasure.

You don’t have time for lacklustre sex. It’s time to create fun and pleasure by exploring your next levels of comfort and desire. Contact me for further information or recommendations.