The Magic of Emotional Intimacy: Elevating Your Sexual Performance and Satisfaction
Vanessa Tarfon
1 Aug 2024 – 4 min read
Imagine this: you’re lost in the moment, locked in a gaze with your partner. There’s a spark, a profound connection, and suddenly, everything feels more intense, more electric. This is the power of emotional intimacy at play.
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Gone are the days of teaching men to suppress their emotions. Gentlemen, if you want to elevate your sexual performance and reach new levels of satisfaction and pleasure, it’s time to up your emotional game!
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Maximum sexual pleasure and satisfaction happen when you feel safe enough to relax all your inhibitions, stay present in the moment, and let your body’s needs drive performance. Trust in your partner allows you to feel comfortable letting your guard down, which happens when you are emotionally connected.
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You know:
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- They won’t laugh at you but with you.
- They’ll love you no matter what happens.
- They want to learn and have new experiences with you.
- Their perception of you isn’t changed when something doesn’t go to plan.
- They value you, your thoughts, your feelings.
Why Emotional Intimacy Matters
1. Happy Hormones: The Secret Sauce
Emotional intimacy triggers the release of happy hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. These chemicals aren’t just feel-good, they’re feel-great! They circulate through your body, amplifying your desire and intensifying your pleasure. This hormonal cocktail doesn’t just make you feel more connected; it adds fuel to your sexual fire.
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2. The Psychological Aspect: More Than Just Physical
Sex isn’t just a physical act; it’s profoundly psychological. Successful couples understand that growing together emotionally through strong communication and shared experiences enhances their sexual connection. Emotional intimacy, improved through both sexual and non-sexual interactions, strengthens this bond.
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3. The Brain: The Ultimate Sex Organ
The brain is the biggest sex organ. The psychological and physical aspects of sexual desire are tightly linked. An emotional connection with your partner is a primary driver for intimacy. Feeling safe, understood, and bonded allows women to release their inhibitions and fully enjoy the experience.
Building Emotional Intimacy Before Sex
Intimacy in Relationships: Showing Love and Appreciation
Intimacy is key for bonding and expressing love and appreciation in a relationship. It distinguishes a committed relationship from other connections, making it unique and special. Feeling loved and appreciated through intimacy strengthens the overall relationship, including the sexual aspect.
Emotional intimacy doesn’t start during sex at the first physical touch. It starts hours, maybe even days, before. Women’s biggest complaint is a lack of romance in relationships that reduces their sexual desire. So, connection during romantic moments that boost your emotional intimacy and sexual desire is your first stop! Think about bringing her flowers for no reason, setting up a picnic in the backyard, or cooking her favourite meal. These are the things that will push her desire up the ladder.
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Communication and Comfort: Reducing Performance Anxiety
Emotional intimacy creates a safe space to openly communicate your desires and needs. This open communication reduces performance anxiety, as you feel safer and more relaxed, leading to better sexual performance and satisfaction.
Enhancing Sexual Intimacy During Sex
Face-to-Face Positions: Windows to the Soul
Face-to-face positions are a game-changer. Many people automatically close their eyes or look away during sex, either to heighten their sensations or to retreat into their fantasies. But the real magic happens when you lock eyes with your partner and verbally communicate. Talking during sex takes many forms. Sometimes it’s dirty/nasty speak, sometimes it’s about what you see or feel, and other times it’s giving instruction. Looking at your partner gives you the best opportunity to connect, talk, and see how your words affect them.
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Observing Non-Verbal Cues: Heightened Pleasure
When you’re tuned into your partner’s facial expressions and body language, it’s like tuning into a private channel of intimacy. Every smile, gasp, and quiver not only tells you that they’re enjoying themselves but also heightens your arousal because you are hitting the spot! This mutual awareness fuels a cycle of pleasure and connection, making the experience richer and more satisfying.
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Take Your Time: Exploring Your Partner’s Body
Don’t rush. Enjoy the moment and take your time because women need at least 20 minutes of physical full-body exploration and foreplay before penetration. Taking the time to explore your partner’s body helps build anticipation and arousal, ensuring that both partners are fully engaged and satisfied. This full-body exploration creates a deeper emotional and physical connection, enhancing overall sexual satisfaction.
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The Open-Eye Orgasm: A Deeper Connection
Yes, it’s a thing! An open-eye orgasm isn’t just a fantasy; it’s a transformative experience that bridges the gap between physical pleasure and deep emotional connection. When you maintain eye contact during sex and while your orgasm is ripping through you, you’re opening a window to your soul. This vulnerability and connection can turn a good sexual experience into an unforgettable one.
Emotional intimacy is a cornerstone of a fulfilling sexual relationship. It enhances physical pleasure, reduces anxiety, and strengthens the bond between partners. By fostering emotional intimacy, you can elevate your sexual performance and satisfaction, creating a deeper and more meaningful connection with your partner.
Vanessa Tarfon
Sex Therapist, owner of Authentic Awareness
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