Boost Your Libido Without Guilt: Practice Tips for Women
Vanessa Tarfon
1 Jan 2025 – 4 min read
Life can feel like a never-ending to-do list: work deadlines, family obligations, social commitments, and oh, let’s not forget those ridiculous expectations we place on ourselves. Amid all the chaos, where does your libido fit in? Spoiler alert: probably somewhere between “take the bins out” and “schedule that dentist appointment.”
And when you do think about sex, does a little voice whisper, “Is it selfish to even want this when I’ve got so much else to do?”
Here’s the real deal: taking care of your sexual well-being isn’t selfish, it’s essential. Yet so many women I speak to are stuck on this. They tell me they want to feel sexy again, understand why their libido has taken a vacation, and reignite that inner spark. But here’s the kicker, they don’t act on it unless there’s a magical one-pill fix. Newsflash: no magic wand is coming.
If this resonates, you’re not alone. And guess what? I’ve already unravelled what causes low libido in this blog – the perfect place to start if you’re nodding along.
Why Women Don’t Prioritise Their Sexuality
We’re conditioned to be the “good partner”, the “selfless mum”, or the “unstoppable career woman”, and nowhere in these narratives is there room for you to…enjoy yourself. Add stress, hormones, or that sneaky little critic in your head, and it’s no surprise that many women feel disconnected from their sensual selves.
But here’s the truth: when you sideline your sexuality, you’re sidelining a core part of what makes you you.
Reclaiming your libido isn’t about selfish indulgence, because your libido is about MORE than sex. It’s about reconnecting with your vibrancy, joy, and connection to the world. Reclaiming it doesn’t just benefit you, it enriches every relationship and aspect of your life.
Why Libido Matters (Hint: It’s Not Just About Sex)
Your libido is about so much more than physical intimacy. It’s the spark that fuels the way you interact with life, yourself, and others. It’s the warmth behind a deep kiss, the comfort of holding hands, and that little flutter when you feel seen.
When your libido is on pause, it can feel like those connections start to fade. But the good news? With some attention and care, that spark can reignite.
Is It Selfish to Prioritise Your Sexual Health? Absolutely not.
Focusing on your sexual well-being is the opposite of selfish. Think of it like charging your phone, you can’t run at 5% forever. When you reconnect with your desires, you’re giving yourself (and everyone around you) the best version of you.
Oh, and bonus? That renewed sense of self-confidence? It spills over into everything: your career, your relationships, and your day-to-day energy.
Why Sex and Intimacy Are Important
Sexual intimacy isn’t just about physical pleasure, it’s about fuelling your emotional and physical well-being. Here’s how prioritising intimacy can transform your life:
Increase in Positive Hormones – During intimacy your body releases happy hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, which boost your mood, deepen connections, and help you feel more content.
Mental Clarity and Energy – Feeling frazzled? Intimacy is a natural stress reliever. Regular moments of connection can clear your mind, boost your focus, and give you the energy to tackle life’s demands.
Stronger Relationships – Physical closeness strengthens emotional bonds, creating a foundation of trust, support, and understanding with your partner.
Boost in Self-Confidence – Adopting your sexuality, enhances your self-image, helping you feel more empowered, sexy, and capable in every aspect of life.
How to Boost Your Libido (Without Adding to Your To-Do List)
Feeling stuck? Try these playful, practical tips to reignite your spark:
Name Your Rival
What’s holding you back? Stress? Body image? A partner who thinks “foreplay” means turning off the lights? Write down your barriers, and then brainstorm tiny steps to tackle them. A journal like Mojo Matters can help you track your wins (big and small).
Turn Up the Heat (Solo Edition)
Self-pleasure isn’t just fun, it’s empowering. No judgment, no pressure, just you exploring what feels good. It’s a beautiful reminder that your body is yours, and it deserves to be celebrated, and you’ll create space for your libido to resurface.
Bust a Move (Literally)
Cue your favourite playlist, slip into something you love, and watch yourself in the mirror dance it out. It’s not about perfect choreography, it’s about letting loose and celebrating your body. Plus, it’s a sneaky way to get your heart rate up while boosting confidence.
Join Radiant You: Sensual Reset Membership
Want the ultimate shortcut to feeling sexy, connected, and empowered? Say hello to Radiant You, a supportive membership for women ready to reignite their sensuality. With tools, resources, and a community that gets it, you’ll rediscover the vibrant, confident version of yourself that’s been there all along.
Why Wait? Your Pleasure Is a Priority
Life will always be busy. The demands won’t magically disappear. But here’s the thing: prioritising your sexual well-being is one of the most powerful ways to show up for yourself.
Whether it’s trying a new self-care habit, writing in your journal, or joining Radiant You, it’s time to give yourself permission to reclaim your joy, your vitality, and your sensuality.
Ready to take action? Start today. Learn more about Radiant You: Sensual Reset Membership here.
Vanessa Tarfon
Sex Therapist, owner of Authentic Awareness
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