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Relationships start easy enough but then life starts kicking you in the ass and your relationship starts to get harder and need more work. Couples are forced to make a decision. Continue the relationship as is, or make a change.

Once you are in a long-term relationship and have kids the choice feels overwhelming and the one question you need to answer is scary as hell.

What happens if nothing changes?

When you look at your current relationship and your feelings towards your partner, this is the only question you need to ask. It’s also the scariest question you will ever ask yourself and why most people don’t ask it.

Your answer may be confronting and upsetting BUT it is also the single most effective motivator for change.


Why ask yourself “What happens if nothing changes?”


It doesn’t matter whether the issue is sexual or general relationship concerns. The question and the reasons why are the same.

  1. Life means living. If you are plodding through your life and your relationship the truth is you aren’t living. To live life you need to be your true self and experience what life has to offer by being happy and present.
  2. Your children’s socio-emotional health starts developing from the moment they are born. They absorb all the relationships and interactions around them and feed off those interactions and emotions to form their foundations. YOU are their primary development feeder. If you are in an unhealthy or disconnected relationship, your baby feels it and it’s forming the basis of their future self and relationship interactions.
  3. 66% of mothers are unsatisfied with their sex life. Mothers are not sexually satisfied reducing their relationship satisfaction. Parents ignore relationship problems when their kids are young but those problems can’t be masked once kids start to move out of home. The average age when couples are divorcing has been rising steadily since the 1980s as has the rate of divorce amongst couples married for 20+ years. Parents are running through the motions to survive rather than making changes to thrive.


How to ask the question and the next steps


Here’s your strategy for successfully asking yourself the question positively.

  1. Make yourself comfortable, sit down with a pen and paper and ask yourself “What happens if nothing changes?” Write down your answer in as much detail as possible.
  2. Read your answer through 3 times.
  3. Ask yourself if you can live with your answer long-term? Will you be living happy and fulfilled?
  4. If the answer is no, then ask yourself what you need to change to flip your answer on its head to what you want your future life to look like.
  5. Break your changes down into small achievable actions, or contact me so we can work through your solution.
  6. Next you need to have a conversation with your partner about how you are feeling. You can show them your answers if it helps BUT first ask them the same question, “What happens if nothing changes?” Again, the answer may be confronting. The first step of change is the hardest and you need to find that motivator for the first action.

If you are ready to start living life instead of surviving life, it’s time to ask yourself the hard question. You are not alone you have my support and encouragement to find your fulfilment, whatever that may be.

Contact me directly for more advice.