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The festive season and school holidays are coming! It’s a great time to spend with family and friends celebrating, loving and laughing. But it can also be a difficult time for relationships as tired mums struggle with low sexual desire. Super exhausted, busy and stressed mums is not great for building sexual desire!

45.7% of mums lack sexual desire because they are exhausted and/or busy.

We are lucky in Australia to celebrate this time during summer, and sensually we LOVE this season because people want MORE sex during summer. We know this because google searches, birth registrations, condom sales and adult store sales tell us.

Why are we more sexually active in summer?

  1. Longer days give the perception of “more time” so we feel less rushed, more productive and relaxed.
  2. People eat healthier and are more physically active during summer which improves body image, self-acceptance and confidence.
  3. The sun itself gives us energy and life (just ask a gardener). The sun increases serotonin production, which regulates mood fostering a happier, optimistic mindset.

Melatonin is the “timekeeper” of our body and is at lower levels during the day. Serotonin converts to melatonin at night, which at its higher levels promotes sleep. Having longer days and sunlight exposure during summer keeps our body more alive and energetic reducing the sedative effects of melatonin and increasing our sexual arousal.

Research on postmenopausal women has shown significant increases in sexual function from taking melatonin. Improvements were seen in all 6 sexual function domains: desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm, satisfaction and pain.

  1. We have a desire to be more sociable so we seek out opportunities to interact with loved ones and casual lovers.
  2. We wear less clothes in summer and the increase in visible skin and smell of pheromones combine to boost primal needs and desires.
  3. With an increased drive for activity and adventure, we take more holidays in summer, which is great for stress relief and soothing a busy mind (even if we still need to think about the basic survival needs of our kids!)

So with summer being such an exciting season, how can you impede the negative impacts of busy family life and limited alone time to enhance your low sexual desire?

Here’s my top 3 summer season sexual desire enhancing tips:

  1. Breathing

Breathe deeply into your vulva. With your eyes closed, tense your genital area (concentrate on your vulva) and inhale. Release the tension in your genital area on the exhale, and repeat 3 times. This technique is not only great for relaxing, you can do it anytime and anywhere throughout the day (the kids will have no idea what you are doing). It also grounds you and brings your attention to your genitals and sensations.

  1. Sensory play throughout the day

Generate anticipation and arousal by using the whole day to activate your senses.


Close your eyes and have your partner surprise you by feeding you food or snacks, you can also do this yourself by savouring foods of your choice.


Using kitchen utensils or bathroom products are great, cheap and easy to find. Activate your biggest organ (your skin) by running different items over your body in different ways.


The right sounds can really get your juices flowing. Think about your partner’s voice, certain words/phrases, humming or music that gets you excited.


Aromas are great at conjuring memories. Use foods, plants, flowers, perfumes, soaps or candles to activate your sensual memories.


Visual sexual stimuli is the best way to heighten arousal. Sneak peeks on your phone at photos, movies or visual stimuli, or look at yourself naked in the mirror and incorporate touch at the same time to really pack a desire punch.

  1. Keeping the romance alive with your partner

Every morning tell your partner one thing you love about them and every night tell your partner one thing you appreciated about them that day. Intimacy doesn’t just start and end with sex, keep the flame burning every day.

The festive season is for overindulging…especially in 2021! It’s time to overindulge in your intimacy and sexual explorations.


For more tips to enhance sexual desire check out the Mama’s Sensual Safari and discover the positive impacts for you and your relationship.