Sex After Birth Tension: How to resexualise your body
New mums confess: “I have no sexual identity. My body isn’t mine, it belongs to my kids”. Breastfeeding, lack of quality sleep, exercise, me-time and meal changes. Just some parts of new motherhood. All these things strip away positive feelings about ourselves and our bodies. When you look in the mirror do you see a sexy individual or do you see mum?
Women commonly experience a change in their self-identity after childbirth, reporting a more family-focused identity.Resexualising your body is important for yourself but also for current or future relationships.
Particularly for breastfeeding mothers, the most common remark is “my body belongs to my baby”. Breasts are no longer sexual body parts, evident by how we happily whip them out in public places.
Why resexualising your body is important
Relationship intimacy has a significant role in relationship satisfaction and relationship dynamics. In relationships with reduced intimacy:
- partners are quick to blame one another
- express negativity about the other even in front of children, and
- interact infrequently with each other
Behaviours and emotions we do not want to role-model for our children who are quick to pick up on negative vibes.
Sexual identity concerns affect relationships
At 6 months postpartum, 36% of mothers describe themselves as discontent with their sexual relationship. Up to 93% of first-time mothers experience a decline in relationship satisfaction after the birth of a child and this decline can persist up to a decade postpartum.
Many mothers are quick to blame their partners for postpartum sexual concerns. It’s easier right to blame someone else for things that annoy or upset us.
In the long run, blaming your partner isn’t going to make you happy.
New mothers who place more blame on their partner for postpartum sexual concerns are less likely to focus on maintaining or strengthening their sexual and romantic relationship resulting in less satisfaction.
If this is you then action NOW is crucial to improving your relationship.
The hardest part of revamping your sexual identity is BELIEVING your partner when they tell you how sexy you are.
So how do you convince yourself you are sexy and desirable?
- By spending 5 minutes a day checking yourself out. Looking, touching and investigating your naked body in the mirror. Thinking about everything you have done, everything your body has been through and achieved.
- Dressing to impress yourself. Get out of the funk of wearing old, dirty clothes at least 2 days a week. It’s not realistic to do it every day. BUT if you are heading out, spend a few extra minutes on yourself to wear something “on trend”, “cool” or something that represents you and your style! It might even mean a wardrobe overhaul (push present idea), but the initial cost will have far-reaching mental and emotional benefits if you can swing it for yourself and your partner.
- The power of pleasure. Pleasure is the biggest motivator you have to resexualise your body and own your sensuality. Follow this sensual revival plan to get to know your body again, what you enjoy and what is important to you.
A self-validating woman with a confident sexual identity is a powerful force. Once you resexualise yourself your partner won’t know what hit, and will be trying to keep up with you!
Resexualise your body on the Mama’s Sensual Safari today.