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How do you experience pleasure and satisfaction in your sex life? Put yourself first. Yes, it’s time to be selfish. This is a new concept for women because we are taught from a young age that sex is more about reproduction than pleasure. Sex for pleasure belongs to men, and women are recipients of men’s pleasure and seed. 

Think about the number of times you have had sex for pleasure vs. sex for reproduction. The average new mother is around 31 years old. Even if she was trying to conceive on every sexual occasion for 2 years, she is still likely to have had sex more often for pleasure than reproduction.

Reproduction is secondary to pleasure. Get pleasure from a sexual mindset shift.

What is a pleasure positive sexual mindset?

  • Understanding what sex is and that normal sex for everyone is different. There are few rules. People are satisfied with different frequencies and types of sex.
  • Knowing sex is fun! Everyone is always learning and exploring sexual activities to find new and exciting ways to keep the spice in life.
  • Acknowledging that you deserve sexual pleasure.
  • Being confident when you walk out of the house every day because you truly know yourself, what you like and how you want to live your life.
  • Owning your sexuality, what your body craves and enjoys and being willing to communicate it.
  • Acknowledging self-pleasure as important and necessary.
  • Not judging yourself or others for what brings you pleasure and enjoyment.

How do I change my sexual mindset to want more sex and pleasure?

Own your sexuality

Flaunt what you have! Own your sexuality, dress to impress and flaunt your assets as you see fit. When you dress and flaunt you don’t do it to seek validation from others. You do it because it makes you feel confident, sexy and happy.  Internal validation and feeling sexy for yourself do more for your libido than any external validation. Exuding confidence is the sexiest asset that women have, and men EAT IT UP!

Write down your blockers

Struggling to own your sexuality and stay present during sex can have a lot to do with your background, religion, social and cultural beliefs. Write down what it is that stops you from actively participating or communicating during sex. Talk through any blockers with your friends or supporters for different opinions or contact me and let’s talk it out. Some beliefs may be so ingrained that changes will take longer to happen.

Take control and communicate

During sex, take control and communicate to your partner what you want or need to experience pleasure. Use your newfound confidence to speak up and bespoke your partner for your pleasure. I guarantee your partner wants you to enjoy yourself and please you. Don’t be shy to communicate if you want some role-play or toys included in your activities. Sex is about exploring and trialling.

Sensual self-massage to music

Check out this video for how it’s done but I want you to do it to sensual music. Take as long as you want, watch yourself in a mirror and move as you feel to the music. Not only will your nerves fire as they do during a regular self-massage, but your body will tighten and tingle with desire as more of your senses are engaged.

Having a positive sexual mindset will help you be the confident, strong and productive person you want to be, and give you the ability to be a strong role model for your children. You’ll learn the value of self-validation and have a strong sexual language to have open and honest conversations with your children as they grow to understand their sexuality and how to have healthy future relationships with themselves and others.

Contact me if you have any questions.