HELP! I’m over 30 years old and missed my sexual peak
When we are young we are told that women reach their sexual peak in their 30s later than men in their early 20s. We think this is because of hormonal and physiological functions but I’m here to say it’s FALSE!
What is a sexual peak?
A sexual peak is said to be when you are capable of having the most satisfying sex frequently. I’m here to say there is no single peak. We have several “peaks” over our life when it comes to sex just as we have several “troughs”. Imagining we have only one peak tells us that sex isn’t as satisfying outside of these years, which is FLAWED!
Is there any truth to women’s sexual peak in their 30s?
In short, yes. BUT here’s why I believe women hit one of their peaks in their 30s.
- Confidence: Women are older and wiser, making great ground in their career, and/or raising a family. They know themselves better and don’t want to have mediocre sex anymore. They are more sexually expressive to ask for what they need and want.
- Time is short: Many women in their 30s are tired, busy mothers so “nobody got time for that”. QUALITY is much more important than QUANTITY. In 2006, 63% of Australian women had children between 30-34 years old. By the time we hit 2016, 84% of women 45-49 years of age had children.
- Practice makes perfect: When we are young and first start having sex we don’t really know what we like and girls aren’t told to self-pleasure as a rite of passage. It takes women time to realise what they need to make sex enjoyable. After all that practice in our 20s we hit our 30s and demand pleasure.
- Prioritising our goals: When we are younger we have more casual hookups resulting in less orgasm and pleasure. For heterosexual couples, the male’s orgasm is prioritised. Heterosexual women in relationships are significantly more likely to orgasm than single women. In recent research, of women who orgasmed, 67.9% were in a relationship and 32.1% were single. Of those that did not orgasm, 32.3% were in a relationship and 67.7% were single.
I’m a mum now, there’s no sexual activity let alone sexual peak for me!
There is a definite decline in sex after kids. Relationship satisfaction hits a low and potentially doesn’t pick up until the kids leave home! That is a LONG time to wait!
A 2016 survey of first-time parent couples between 3-12 months postpartum, found that 89% of new mothers endorsed 11 or more sexual concerns.
Mothers can be self-sabotaging. Those who believe that their sexual concerns will continue because they are now a mother and this is their future may feel more negatively about their sexual relationship. Be less attuned to their physiological responses during sex, less sensitive to their partner’s sexual cues, or less likely to initiate sex, resulting in lower sexual satisfaction.
Mama, it’s time. Don’t wait until the kids move out!
How can I make NOW my sexual peak?
It’s never too late to make NOW your sexual peak. Here’s how to get it.
Write down what you want out of your sex life and your sexuality
Know exactly what you want, what you like, and what your sexual concerns are. Make a decision to pursue the goal of pleasure and orgasm.
Use “I” statements to ask for what you want and what you need
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner/s for what you want and need. Good quality is more important than quantity. I promise your partner wants to please you so help them.
Spend time alone learning about your body
Simply thinking of orgasm as important is insufficient. Orgasm goal pursuit predicts orgasm occurrence.If you want to achieve orgasm, spend some time practicing self-pleasure to find out what works for you. To experience full pleasure you must be relaxed and in the moment. This is where the Mama’s Sensual Safari is perfect for getting you to your goals.
The pursuit of pleasure is possible for everyone. Are you ready to prioritise your sexual peak and pleasure today?
Discover more about the Mama’s Sensual Safari today.